A Noose Around My Neck

Now that school is over for good, I can finally see what everyone meant when they said real life is so much harder.

I always liked to think I was kind-of mature for realising how much harder the big, wide world would be once I left education but I realise now that I still had a naivity about the whole process. Don't get me wrong, I never said that education was harder than being an adult but it's still a slight kick in the balls.

I have thoughts running through my head, thoughts like 'What if I never make it where I want to go?' and 'How badly will I fuck THIS up?' My brain is basically just a giant clusterfuck of doubts right now and the pressure is on me to find a full-time job to make money while I write voluntary videogame reviews to build up my portfolio.

The plan is simple in concept but the execution may be harder than my idealistic head would lead me to believe - I get a full-time job while living at home, while writing free reviews for the website I'm helping work on. This will allow me to build up a bursting portfolio expressing my journalistic excellence so that I won't even need a degree for a job.

Of course, this is all just my trademark idealism and I have no idea how the future, and life itself, will treat me in the years ahead of me. For now, I'm just taking it one cigarette at a time.